GRIDIRON GAZE

By Staff Correspondent

The Locker Room Ledger

Published: August 12, 2025 Category: Sportsball

DENVER — Football season doesn’t ease you in, it slams you against the wall and goes straight for the end zone. One week I’m in cutoff shorts watching fireworks, the next I’m choking on a brat, inhaling tailgate smoke while the stadium roars over grown men slapping ass like it’s Bear Week.

I’m a football fan, but I’m a creep, a weirdo. I watch the scoreboard, and sure, it matters, but not nearly as much as the pants. Skin-tight, thigh-grabbing, ass-lifting pants. Pants pulled so tight you can spot a second helmet. An outline so sharp you forget about the play clock entirely.

And everyone's got their favorite position. Mine? Tight ends. Not just for the pun - thought it's perfect - but because they've got the toughest gig on the field. They've got to blast off the line, read the blitz, keep an eye on the linebackers, hold a block, and stay on route. Pounding and being pounded all in one night. A true vers.

Centers definitely give them a run for their money. They're just so fuckin' special. Every play starts with them bent over, putting the ball in motion while serving up a view worth the price of admission. I wish I was special.

And then there's the rest of the show. Refs dominating and blowing whistles, mustached coaches pacing as if they stepped right out of a vintage 80s beefcake calendar, the sidelined brotherly love drenched in comradery, and the locker room. The smell of dirty jocks, sweaty socks, and thick... tension.

So yeah, I'll root for a good play, a great game, and my favorite team. But I'm really here for the tight white pants, the bent over centers, those vers ends, and every filthy detail in between.

And I plan on watching

every...

single...

snap.